Last year (2011) I decided to celebrate New Years Eve in Egypt. I knew that celebrating this event in Egypt will be very different from what I experienced in past years. Looking at my life from perspective of celebrating New Years Eve I lived really expectable life full of huge and fancy parties with fireworks continueing till morning. BUT I loved it and everytime when somebody said "Why I should celebrate this evening just because everybody is celebrating it?" I didnt get it. I was always just thinking why somebody wouldnt want to have fun and go for amazing party. Especially when you know that all the clubs are really putting effort into making those parties awesome. And I can honestly say every New Years Eve I experienced was amazing and I never felt I am doing something because everyone else is doing so.
New Years Eve in Egypt was different. We went to mosque at midnight and then continued with dinner but still we agreed on going to city centre for party and have fun dancing with friends. During all these time in mosque and dinner I was feeling very pressured. Pressured that I dont celebrate New Years Eve as most of the people. But I realized I am not pressured by other people but I am pressured by myself and the way I used to live during this day. I felt something different and I was pushing so much to go for the party after dinner and really have huge celebration. Funny thing happened because after dinner the only thing I wanted to do is go to the flat and reflect about my last year and my new year resolutions. :-D
So I went to the flat, knowing I am not going to do what I would expect from myslef and I still felt happy about it. And this was the moment when I realized what 2012 will mean for me. 2012 will be the year when many things I had in my life will need to change, many things I used to do will not exist anymore and I will have to make choices where to move on. When you are 25 and you are going to make choice which country you want to live in, should I start my company or work somewhere first, should I sacrifice some choices because of the relationship I have, is it something which will last, should I then get married....and many others which make you feel like in movie Butterfly effect where every decision you make is changing whole your life.
I started year 2012 with choice of celebrating it differently then I used to in past years. It was small decision and maybe very unimportant but somehow it showed me that what I really want this year is not to look what others do, not to look how everythinga round me was defined by others people experiences or my own experiencies in the past....I want to make choices which will be based on what I really want and believe in and I dont want to be judged by anyone for that especially by myself...
